I love you
by Joeysgizmo
Summary: Astrid gets sick, luckily Hiccups there for her.
1. Chapter 1

"I'm fine Hiccup!" I whined. I was lying through my teeth of course, but he didn't need to know that.

"Astrid, you're shaking and pale as a sheet" He protested. I groaned. The truth was I had an awful headache, and I was exhausted, and my stomach hurt, plus I was freezing.

"I said I'm fine!" I snapped at him. I had shown up to help with chores this morning and he had taken one look at me before forcing me to come up here and rest.

"Astrid, we both know you don't feel well, you don't have to pretend with me" He said softly, he almost sounded hurt. I sighed. He was right of course, I didn't have to be tough Astrid Hofferson with him. I also didn't want him to think I didn't trust him with my weak side.

"Fine" I murmured. He moved a little closer to me, and took my hand in his. I allowed him to intertwine our fingers. He gently tugged me away from the wall I was leaning heavily against. He was staring into my eyes, silently asking for trust. I stared deeply into his soft green irises a moment before taking a slow step forward, away from the support of the wall. I must have been sicker than I thought. The second I stepped away from the wall a wave of dizziness came over me. I stumbled forward about to fall. I felt a strong arm loop around my waist, catching me. I looked up into Hiccups soft eyes. He was wearing a small understanding smile.

"Maybe I am a little sicker than I thought" I said weakly. He chuckled softly. "Just a little" He murmured, helping me back on my feet. I was leaning heavily on him. He helped me stumble back over to the bed. He gently placed both his hands on my waist and laid me down on the bed. I shivered a little once my head hit the soft pillow.

"H-Hiccup I'm c-cold" My teeth were chattering. He reached over a gently stroked up and down my arms, trying to warm me up. He glanced around as he did so until he spotted a blanket in the corner. He moved away for a moment to grab it. I curled into a ball to try and warm up, gritting my teeth. He snatched the blanket and flicked it up so it would flow out overtop of me. It settled splayed out over me and I curled further into it. Hiccup sat back on the edge of my bed and placed a cool hand on my forehead. I felt a shiver run through me.

"Jeez Astrid, you're burning up" He muttered more to himself than me.

"I'm fine" I said almost delirious. "Astrid" he murmured, before he sighed.

His hand started absentmindedly stroking the loose strands of hair out of my face. I nuzzled into his touch. I squinted up at him and saw a small smile across his features at the gesture. I quickly turned my face and planted a light kiss on his hand before nuzzling back into it. He chuckled softly. He gently ran his thumb over my cheek. I squinted a little bit to look into his gorgeous green eyes staring down at me.

"You just won't rest, will you?" He asked softly teasing me. He gently ran his thumb over my forehead, trying to get me to close my eyes. My heavy lids gave in voluntarily. I tried to say "thank you" but it came out more like "mm hoo." Hiccup chuckled anyways.

"You're welcome m'lady" He whispered to me. It took all my remaining energy to reach over and take his other hand. I gave a very small tug. Hiccup got the message, lowering himself slowly to my side. I let go of his hand as he laid down beside me. I groggily rolled over and nuzzled into his side. He looped his arms around me, stroking my hair again.

"Will you rest now" He whispered to me. "Mmhmm" I replied. "Hmmmm hmm, hmmmm" I hummed the tune softly. It was a request.

"Really Astrid?" Hiccup asked slightly surprised. I allowed my head to roll forward a little farther into his chest, nodding. He sighed.

"Will I ever be able to say 'no' to you?" He asked teasingly. "Nu,uh" I murmured. He chuckled, before making an exasperated noise, teasing me again. Then he began the quiet hum. His voice was deep and musical. He hummed the same tune I had started. His chest vibrated soothingly. By the time he finished the tune I was pretty much asleep. But before I was completely out I heard him murmur, "I love you Astrid" and felt him place a gentle kiss on my forehead. Then the oblivion encompassed me.


	2. Did you know I scream?

I shot up in bed panting. I was laying a cold sweat. I had tears streaming rapidly down my face. I reached up with a shaky hand and rubbed my eyes. I was the great Astrid Hofferson, and I was a complete mess. I am not usually like this, the nightmares were supposed to have gone away! They went away! I guess not. I glanced outside and was instantly alerted to what had initiated my relapse. Aurvandil Fire was shining high in the sky. I shuddered remembering that fateful night many moons ago:

 _Hiccup: Okay, we are going to observe the Flightmare, Astrid. We are going to see what we can learn about it, try to redirect it. If we can't, we are falling back to town. Understand?  
Astrid: Sure.  
Hiccup: Say the words "I understand, Hiccup.".  
Astrid: Fine. I understand, Hiccup.  
Hiccup: (Sarcastically) Well, that just instills me with confidence.  
Hiccup: There's the Northern Swamp. Sounds like we're getting close.  
Astrid: Good. I can't wait to see this thing.  
Hiccup: Well, you won't have to wait long. Remember, observe only!  
Hiccup: Okay. Well, it certainly lives up to the hype.  
Hiccup: Astrid! What're you doing?!  
Astrid: What do you think I'm doing?! Defending Berk! And my family honor! We'll see who's a coward!  
Astrid: Leave Berk now, and never come back! Here I am, ungodly beast, Fearless Astrid Hofferson! Come and get me, if you dare!_

 _I looked into the flightmares eyes, and froze.  
Hiccup: ASTRID!_

I all of a sudden was stiff and trapped in my own body. I have only ever admitted this to Hiccup, but my worst fear came to life the second I looked into the flightmares eyes. I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything, I was powerless and had no control over the situation. I was so utterly helpless. I had been jumpy for weeks after that. Nobody had noticed, but Hiccup. He used to help me calm down. It felt pathetic for brave and tough Astrid to fall apart at the idea of being trapped in a large mess hall. I looked down at my still shaky hands. I tried taking a deep breath, but couldn't manage it.

It felt both stupid and needy, but I needed Hiccup. I was breathing heavily as I pulled on my boots, and my armor. I slipped downstairs shakily. I unsteadily walked over to Stormfly's sleeping spot. I gently patted her shoulder until she was fully awake.

"Hey girl" I whispered, my voice was hoarse. She gave me a concerned coo. I glanced up at the lights again. They would be beautiful, if I didn't associate them with such a bad memory. Stormfly gave another coo. "I'm fine girl" My voice came out a little stronger, but not much. "I just need to see Hiccup" I explained as calmly as I could to the dragon. She gently shifted to the side to let me get on her. I clambered on and she took to the air.

It was pathetic that even the wonderful sensation of flying under the lights was driving the memory deeper into my mind. The tears started up again. I was as powerless to _  
_stop them as I was to stop the flightmare. I let out a choked sob. Stormfly gave another coo, trying to comfort me. I patted her shoulder through my tears.

She landed softly in front of Hiccup's Hut. The small hut was a little comforting. I slid silently off Stormfly, hushing my sobs. I stumbled over on shaky feet and knocked lightly on the door.

"Come in" Was the groggy reply. I opened the door and stepped lightly through the door.

"Astrid! What are you doing here?" Hiccup asked with concern. Then he seemed to notice the tears on my face. He walked up to me and gently took my hand, bringing one calloused thumb up to wipe away the tears.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly. I pointed wordlessly out the window. He glanced over and noticed the lights.

"Ohh, Astrid" He said soothingly. "It's okay, it's not coming back" He murmured pulling me into a loose hug. He knew not to hold me too tight unless I initiated it when I got like this. I just kind of fell into him, steeling myself against the tears. He held me a little tighter, whispering soothingly to me. It took me a minute to stop crying, but eventually I managed it. I was still shaking like a leaf though. Hiccup helped me over to his bed and sat down, with me next to him.

He got me to lay back down in bed and began stroking my hair away from my face. His steady hand took my shaky one.

"It's okay Astrid, just rest" He murmured. I closed my eyes and allowed his touch to soothe me closer to sleep. I knew Hiccup thought I was asleep because he let go of my hand and started to move to the floor. I let out another pathetic whimper when he released my hand. I felt his hand quickly grab mine again.

"Sorry, thought you were asleep" He murmured to me.

"Stay" the word was barely audible, but Hiccup seemed to have heard it.

"Okay" he whispered, he let go of my hand again, but laid down beside me a second later. I turned over and nestled into his side. He hesitated a moment before he put his arms around me. He stroked back my hair as he held me, trying to soothe me further. I nestled farther into him.

"You're safe Astrid, I promise I won't let anything hurt you" He whispered in my ear. I nodded against his chest. I may have been terrified, but I knew Hiccup would protect me.


	3. Phantom pains

_Clang, clang._ Our swords clashed together again and again in a pattern. I turned my sword in a blocking motion and shoved backwards. Hiccup stumbled before falling to the ground. I landed on top of him. He looked at me, defiance showing in his eyes. I slowly leaned over in as threatening manner as I could right before...I kissed him. He was caught off guard, but recover quickly and kissed me back. When we pulled apart he sighed in exasperation before smiling, accepting defeat. I smiled back at him before pushing myself back up. I offered my hand to help him to his feet. He took it gladly and stood up. He stumbled the second he put weight on his prosthetic leg, but quickly recovered his balance. I frowned, but didn't comment. Hiccup was usually pretty good on his feet despite the prosthetic. He smiled at me again, leaning over and kissing me teasingly on the nose. He then gently rested his arm around my shoulders.

"How would you feel about a ride back to my hut, M'lady?" He asked me. His voice was calm, but I noticed how he tensed up again.

"Sure" I said cautiously, walking over to Stormfly. Hiccup stiffly made his way over to Toothless, who met him in the middle. Now I was a little concerned. He grimaced as he put his prosthetic in the stirrup. He then glanced up to see me looking at him and tried for a smile, but his eyes were a little unfocused.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, allowing a little concern to seep into my voice. He seemed to be working hard to concentrate on me as he said,

"Huh? um, yeah, yeah. I'm fine!" I didn't believe him for a second.

"Let's get you back to your hut" I called to him. He was unfocused again, but Toothless seemed to have heard me. He took to the air. Hiccup began controlling the tailfin automatically. Wincing everytime he moved the prosthetic. I was entirely concerned by the time we landed in front of his small hut. He didn't seem to have really notice we had landed. I hopped off Stormfly and walked over to him. He had his teeth gritted and his eyes clenched tight in pain.

"Hiccup?" I asked softly, my concern was truly showing through. He opened his eyes a little bit to look at me.

"I'm okay Astrid" he murmured quietly. He slipped his prosthetic out of the stirrup and almost fell out of the saddle.

"Clearly" I muttered, bracing myself to hold him up. He fell onto me, unable to hold his own weight. I stumbled around a bit trying to find balance, Hiccup was quite a bit heavier than me. I stumbled in the direction of the hut holding him up. There was a sheen of sweat over his brow. If I wasn't worried before, I was now. I made it to the door and managed to pull it open. I practically fell over getting to the bed. I laid Hiccup down as gently as I could. He collapsed on the bed. His eyes were clenched tight against pain. I didn't think I had hurt him that bad in the arena. The worst I could have given him was a scratch.

"Hiccup, what's wrong? What hurts?" She asked again, a little more demanding and she sounded terrified. He didn't even try to cover it up this time.

"M-m-my leg" He forced the words out. She didn't remember even touching his leg. She darted down to his only leg and checked it over. He groaned and shook his head. Not that leg, then that would mean the other leg, the one that's missing. How did the missing leg hur- Oh! Phantom pain! That's what was going on! Astrid had dealt with Hiccups phantom pains a few times before. She should have seen the signs quicker. She did a mental facepalm as she moved to the prosthetic. She quickly unbuckled it. Hiccup began to whimper uncontrollably. She looked up at him as she gently took what was left of his leg in her hands. He usually hated when anybody touched it, but right now he couldn't care less. She gently began to massage the stump. He was still writhing around in pain. A massage alone was not going to cut it this time. Okay, time for plan B. She turned around to the tap in Hiccups hut. She grabbed a wooden bucket nearby and shoved it underneath the tap as it began filling up. She raced to the door and called in Toothless. The dragon came galloping in. She pointed wordlessly at the bucket. Toothless took one glance at his rider who was still writhing and whimpering. His entire body was completely tense. Toothless shot a plasma blast at the almost full bucket heating it up.

"Good boy" Astrid murmured as Toothless retreated outside to give her more space to work. He knew there was nothing more he could do for his beloved rider.

Astrid quickly grabbed a piece of cloth of the counter and dipped in the hot water, burning her hands in the process, but she didn't care. She looked at Hiccup once more.

"I'm sorry, but it will help in a second" She said to him. She then put the hot rag overtop of his stump. He screamed for a second before relaxing a little bit. She gently placed her hands around the rag and began singing a soft tune. He relaxed even more at the sound of her voice and the feeling of her hands. She massaged the stump in firm gentle circles. Hiccup sighed in relief. He opened his eyes to look at her.

"Astrid?" He murmured. He was still tense, obviously in some pain, but not like before.

"Yeah?" She asked him. "Sorry" He sighed throwing his arm over his eyes.

"Why are you sorry?" She asked.

"This is about as 'unvikinglike' as you can get" He muttered.

Astrid chuckled. "You realize that all of this is because you lost your leg in a viking battle, right? That's like the most viking you can be" She assured him with a smile.

He removed his arm to look up at her.

"You're incredible" He stated blatantly. She blushed and smiled at him.

"Okay I'm about to replace the rag with another hot one, brace yourself" She told him. He nodded before laying down and closing his eyes with gritted teeth. She rewetted the cloth in the hot water as quickly as possible. Hiccup groaned as she replaced the rag. It took him a second to get adjusted to the heat of the rag again. After a moment he relaxed. Astrid continued to massage the stump. He gave another sigh of relief.

"Why don't you tell me about your latest invention?" She asked him, trying to distract him.

She listened as he rambled on for a few minutes about the flight suit he was making. It was kind of cute how excited he could get about a project. They talked about it for a few minutes while she continued to massage the leg.

She switched the rag out twice without him really noticing.

He didn't really seem to mind her touching the stump anymore. He had a lot the first time though. He had asked her over and over why she wasn't grossed out when she touched it. She had explained calmly to him that it was a part of him, and she loved all the parts of him. It took a while, but she seemed to have finally coaxed acceptance out of him.

She was so lost in thought she didn't hear him calling her name. "Astrid!" He said again louder.

"Sorry, what?" She asked shaking herself from her thoughts.

"Come here" He requested holding his arms out to her. She hesitantly let go of his leg, studying his face for any sign of residual pain. She didn't find any. She slowly moved away and closer to his arms.

"I'm fine now Astrid" He assured her, smirking at her worry over him. She nodded and sidled closer to the head of the bed. He gripped her around the waist and pulled her into his lap. He placed a soft kiss over her lips.

"Thank you" He whispered in her ear. She smiled up at him. "Anytime" She murmured hugging him closer.


End file.
